If you are a parent, it is very likely that you worry. A lot. I know I do, but lately there’s been an old thought that keeps coming to my attention, which makes me think that perhaps it’s not such far out idea after all. Now first of all, I am a firm believer that we are a soul, a spiritual being, experiencing human life on this planet via our lovely meat suit, the human body. The human body is a most exquisite creation, and now more than ever, I see how lucky I am to be a part of this experience we call life. Our material bodies have a limited time here on earth, but our souls are eternal. Our souls are eternal and existed in a non-physical plane of existence before getting the opportunity to come here and live a human life. Now not everyone is going to agree with what I have to say here, but it’s my blog and I can say what I want to. Our souls come to the physical plane as human beings to grow and learn and expand and experience life on earth. They also choose to come to help others do the same. Our souls come here with a purpose, but many times, we forget. The insanity, chaos, fear and negativity that has resulted from humans forgetting who and what they really are has caused immense suffering on the planet. Suffering for so much of humanity and for our beautiful planet which is sustaining life for us. We have forgotten our souls. We have forgotten that our souls are here for a reason. That we are here for a reason. And because we have forgotten, we feel lost. Scared. Depressed. Anxious. Hopeless. All the things our Creator does not want us to feel. To be.

Fortunately, a lot of humans are waking up to the truth of this soulful reality and they are taking positive action to heal and strengthen their spirits once again, which takes some work and commitment. The soul is expressed here through our minds and our minds have been sick, confused and manipulated by a lot of twisted people. People, who I have to keep reminding myself, were probably hurt as young children and have carried their wounds into adulthood. Remembering that helps me with compassion, which is something I struggle with. Maybe you do, too. People in pain hurt others. That is the truth, plain and simple. A person who is full of love for himself/herself and life, does not go around destroying others. They just don’t. Hatred is just fear’s armor, and while there is nothing uglier than the depths of human hatred, there is fear underneath it, which sadly came from experiencing a shitload of pain.

Ok, so we are souls. We are here for a reason. We existed before we were born into our human form and our souls will go back to Source when our time here is up. Death is not the end, my friends. Yes, when a loved one dies, it is the end of their physical existence on this material plane, but they continue to exist in a non-physical realm and they are always with you. Always. They don’t just disappear into the great abyss. Their soul is eternal. You will be together again in another realm, or maybe even here during another lifetime. (Yes, I believe in reincarnation). So while it is devastating to lose a loved one, they want you to be happy and move on in joy, for they really are not gone. Their soul is alive and well and just on the other side. Believing that brings me some peace and lessens my fear as I navigate through this life, and maybe it will help you, too.

Early in my sobriety, a beautiful, light-filled friend of mine was pregnant, and while she was scared of the unknown and was having difficulty with the baby’s father, she said something that struck me like a bolt of lightning. She said that the baby growing inside her had chosen her to be his mother and that meant something. That gave her hope. She believed with all her heart that that little human in her womb had picked her out of all the other humans on the planet to be his mom. He wanted to be raised by her beautiful soul. She was going to help his soul learn what it needed to learn in this lifetime. She blew my mind with this idea. What if we really choose our parents? Now I know that a lot of children have really messed up parents and why would they choose to live through a most hellish childhood, and I have no answers to give. There is way more mystery to existence than I could ever explain here, but I can say that when my friend expressed this idea to me, it touched me greatly and I’ve heard it from a lot of other people since. Recently, I read a passage from Wayne Dyer, where he talked about this very thing. He recalled a heated conversation that he had with his fiery, young daughter. Wayne reminded her that she had chosen him to be her father and she responded quite wittily, “Well, I must have been in a rush.” He loved that response and said it was one of the best responses he ever received from any of his kids. He got such a kick out of it. I read about this passage in his book with Ester Hicks called, Co-Creating at It’s Best. Such a great read. So, while it may not yet be accepted by everyone that souls have some say in who they are born to, I think the number is growing. Souls are waking up to many truths on this planet, and I believe this is one of them.

If it’s true that our children chose us to be their parents, maybe we can relax just a little bit. They saw who we were. They saw our souls, and they thought we could help them elevate to the next level during this lifetime. I don’t know about you, but I’ve had many freakouts about my parenting and how I’m sure I’m messing up my boys in one way or another. But guess what? None of us are perfect and our kids chose us anyway. Crazy, huh? What if they could see our faults and picked us despite them? No parent is perfect and we all offer different things to our children. There are no rules for parenting. There may be some helpful tips out there, but as long as you love your child unconditionally, they have a great chance at being ok. And sometimes they don’t end up ok. Take me for example. Surely my parents thought they had failed me when my years of pain and trouble began. But my issues were not their fault. I had things to learn and I had to go through pain to learn them. Pain is an amazing teacher. It’s dark as hell when you are going through it, but the light at the other end is blinding. I would do it all again if you asked me to. And you know what? My parents just loved me through it all. They were always there to help me and pick me up after every fall. I was always their precious daughter no matter how much pain and sadness I caused them. Just knowing that they loved me no matter what and never having to question that love, that is something that helped save me. My parents, like all parents, were not perfect, but I always knew that they loved me. That’s what I want my boys to know, too. That no matter what they do or what they become in this life, their mom and dad will love them fiercely and forever.

Now I am going to share one of my personal parental worries that has caused me a lot of unnecessary anxiety over the years. The fear that my kids are going to be just like me. I feared this so much that I swear I projected so much of my own shit onto them. Like I seriously believed that they would inevitably have all of the negative traits that I had as a kid, and because of this, they were doomed. Doomed, doomed, doomed. How messed up is that? I love my kids more than anything, and yet I was dooming them to repeat life exactly as I had shown up for it. Ain’t that some shit? While we parents have immense influence over our children, they are still their own souls and there is some autonomy there, despite how young they are. It’s really been only this last year that I am seeing just how different my kids are compared to the kid that I was. Seeing these differences has helped me to let go, be less controlling and relax. I am not ruining them. They are doing great. They are being themselves and watching their personalities and young lives unfurl year after year has given me so much freaking joy. My boys are their own, unique, amazing, beautiful selves. Their souls, while influenced by me and my husband, have come here with their own soul work to do, and we are here to care for and guide them as best we can until the time comes to gracefully let them go to fulfill their own dreams and destiny. My heart bursts at the thought that my sweet boys chose me to be their mama. I am so grateful to be their mother. It has brought so much meaning, love and magic to my life. There is no doubt in my mind that this was a huge part of my purpose this time around. My healing journey continues still today, and while I heal for myself, I also heal for them. My energy affects them. Who I am and how I feel matters for it becomes the energy of the home. My little family is doing just fine, and chances are that your’s is, too. Our kids are amazing young humans and they are here to do big things. No matter what comes their way, and there will be pain, just love them through it all. Wrap them in your love. That will help them the most. Knowing they are loved in a messed up, twisted world that is trying so very hard to heal itself is it’s own kind of shield. Keep your chins up, parents. Our kids are stronger and more magical than we could ever know. Let’s enjoy them and their childhoods. These years are so very precious and they will be over way too quickly. Let’s focus more on being present and joyful, instead of being perfect and doing all the right things. You are the right thing. And that’s why they are in your care. Have some faith. It’s all going to be okay. I promise.