Yesterday was a beautiful day. I drove downtown to have lunch with a friend, and after our bellies were full, she had to go back to work, so I decided to walk around and enjoy the city. (Savannah is a gorgeous place, full of beauty, history, great food and magical trees, so please go if you ever get the chance). As I crossed the street and started walking, I heard someone say, “Can I talk to you?” I turned around and saw a gentleman sitting on the ground leaning against a storefront. I quickly said, “Sorry, I don’t have any cash,” and began walking away. He then asked again, this time more earnestly, “Can I just talk to you?” I decided to walk back and talk to him. I don’t know why I did this because usually I would just keep walking and do my best to avoid this kind of uncomfortable situation, but that’s not what I wanted to do in that moment. I wanted to talk to him, and so I did.

He told me that he didn’t want any cash, but would I walk down to CVS and buy him some food? Considering I had a full belly of my own and planned to walk around and do some shopping, I thought that this seemed totally doable. I was going in that direction anyway, so I said let’s go. The man stood and folded up his cardboard mat, and we began our walk down to the store. He was a tall, thin, older black man with the most amazing blue eyes. They were so striking that I had to comment on them, and he humbly said, “Thank you, ma’am.” I asked him his name and he said it was Johnny. (Not his real name). As we walked, I heard him mumble something about people always wanting to judge him, and I asked him if he didn’t just judge me when my first response was to keep walking because I had no cash (I had heard some grumbling). He admitted that he did. I, however, was a coward and did not say that I judged him and believed that if I had given him cash, he would have spent it on booze. My inner asshole likes to see the worst in people, and it’s hard to feel love and compassion when people are seen as messed up jerks. My inner asshole wants my heart shut and isolated. Ugh. If you don’t have an inner asshole, consider yourself super lucky. I’ve been fighting this fucker my entire life.

So after our little walk together, we arrived at CVS and began roaming the aisles. Johnny asked if it would be okay for him to get some reading glasses. Oh, Johnny! You found the right gal! OF COURSE, you can get some reading glasses. He tries some on and I hold a box of band aids up so he can test them out. He finds a pair that work and we go stand in line. He says thank you and that he has had a dark past and that he’s working a program and trying to do better. I tell him that I have a dark past, too, but things changed for me and I hoped things would get better for him, as well. I pay for his food and glasses and we walk out of the store and say good-bye. He blesses me and I do the same. In that moment I truly felt the meaning of the saying, “we are all just walking each other home.” Our time here on Earth is but a moment in eternity. We are really just one very large human family, and when we start to live, not just talk or read about such truths, that is when deeper change can happen for us. For all of us. Human beings are not completely fucked. There is hope. I have hope and I bet most of you do, too. May our actions reflect that hope today and all of our tomorrows.

I really just want to be a kinder human. Not perfect, just kinder. I didn’t write this post so that you would all say that I am wonderful and generous and amazing, but because this interaction touched me deeply. I let myself connect with another human. A complete stranger. And I left that interaction feeling connected to something greater than myself. An open heart leads to connection, and that’s what I’m seeking more of in this lifetime. I’m doing the best I can, one day at a time, in this crazy beautiful life. Look for the magic in the chaos. It’s so there.

Happy Friday!

Have a magical weekend! 😉

*After writing this earlier today, I sat down to watch the Ram Dass documentary on Netflix. It is so beautiful and I recommend it to all. As synchronicity would have it, it was Ram Dass who said, “We’re all just walking each other home.” I nearly fell off the sofa when I heard it. I’m taking it as a sign. A sign that I’m on the right path. At least today. 🙂