Do you ever stop and wonder what aliens from another galaxy would think of a particular situation going on down here on Earth? Well, being the strange gal that I am, I do, and I’m about to discuss a particular situation that I believe would leave alien outsiders speechless and scratching their green little heads. Last week it was brought to my attention that there are several articles out there listing multiple tips on how not to leave your baby in the backseat of your car. For some reason, this hit me rather hard. Most likely, because I’m a parent and I can’t imagine myself ever doing such a thing. I’m also 100% sure that the parents who left their infants to die in a hot car did not ever imagine such a devastating thing happening to them, either. I don’t know how these poor parents go on after something like this, and the point of this post is not to blame or judge any of them. I have nothing but compassion for these parents, but the fact that this has happened so many times that there are now articles with tips on how to remember you have your baby with you- that disturbs me. As a human being on this planet, I cannot believe that we have reached the mind space capable of forgetting that we are driving with our baby in the backseat. Yes, I know this sounds harsh, but there is something going on with our minds when the most valuable things in our lives, our children, can be forgotten- costing them their lives. This is heartbreaking stuff, I know, but it is our reality. Our reality is that there are now a number of lists and tips out there to aid us in remembering that our beloved babies are in the vehicle. One helpful tip suggests keeping a stuffed animal in your baby’s carseat. When you put your child in the seat, place the stuffed animal in the front passenger’s seat as a reminder. Are we really living in a world where we need reminders that we have our babies with us? My mind is blown and I feel sick. Heartsick. Heartsick for the families that must go on after such a tragedy. Heartsick that we have reached a point in our society that such articles are even written. The fact of the matter is that over 36 children die every year in hot vehicles and these articles are trying to help that number go down. 

While I applaud news stations, magazines, blogs, etc. for publishing these articles in order to increase awareness and child safety, my thoughts go to the mind state responsible for this kind of accident/tragedy. No parent wants to come to the awful realization that they have left their baby in the car. But the fact remains that our country has dozens of hot car deaths every year. What could possibly make a parent forget their child? What is their state of mind? How did they get there? These are the questions that come to mind and I think we need to find the answers. Yes, I know some of you are saying, “A few dozen incidents of this each year isn’t that much. I would never do that. Why is this woman talking about such a dark topic?” Well, I’m talking about it because I couldn’t get it out of my mind that there are people writing about how to prevent it. Maybe I want to see if your mind is blown and your heart is sick, too- like mine. Or maybe I’m just a complete wacko who obsesses over human darkness? Most days I am a stable, happy human, so I’m hoping that’s not the case. I think I just want to spread awareness of what our current states of mind are capable of doing. And, unfortunately, we humans are capable of some mind-blowing, heart sickening things.

Only when we have awareness is there the possibility of change. We can’t do anything about what we don’t know, right? Most of us will not leave our children in hot cars, yes, this is true, but I have a feeling we all know the state of mind it must take to have such a thing happen. We live in a go, go, go society. Better, faster, more is the daily mantra. Our minds do not tolerate this conditioning very well, hence the booming pharmaceutical industry to help us cope, alcohol and drug dependency, depression, anxiety, relationship problems, low self-esteem, domestic violence, crime, poor physical health- the list goes on and on. We humans are not meant to live at this frantic pace. We will crash and burn, and many of us do at some point in our lives. We are brainwashed into believing that money, big houses and fancy cars will bring us happiness, but that is the biggest lie of all- most of us accepting it as the ultimate truth. I grew up in a house where my sweet father spent many Saturdays stuck at the kitchen table for hours on end, bills and paperwork taking up a large portion of his day. I could sense his stress and worry. We were middle class and always had enough, but I know my dad never felt like it was enough and that’s what breaks my heart. We had a great life, and my parents gave us everything, but I know there were stressful times. I think many families go through them. I think our society is hellbent on accumulating all the stuff we are told by various sources will make us happy, and either we stress ourselves silly trying to get there, or get there and realize that we are still unhappy. The money, cars, clothes and houses will all lose their shine and pizazz after a while. You want to know why? Material possessions cannot bring everlasting joy and contentment. They just can’t. People without a lot of money will say, “Oh, I’m sure that I would be pretty damn happy with a few million dollars.” And they might be. For a while. From what I’ve seen over the years, there are a lot of folks with fame and fortune that end up killing themselves. They can’t handle the success. Living a wholly abundant life requires a strong mind, body and spirit. We often forget to take care of the unseen, like our hearts and souls, but here is the real truth: When we commit to taking care of our hearts, minds and souls, the world becomes a less threatening, painful place. We can slow down and see the beauty around us; feel the love of our family and friends. We can experience real joy and peace. Gratitude. These are the things we should be striving for in life. These are the real treasures. These are the things that will expand your heart and mind and bring meaning to your existence. 

So, how does one go about getting life’s real treasures? Well, what really got me feeling joyful, abundant, and peaceful was starting a daily meditation practice, along with some yoga or other physical activity, like walking. Meditation and nature are two of my favorite medicines, although to be honest, I do take a little 20mg pill to help my brain out. From my own personal experience, I can say that nearly 2 years of (close to) daily meditation and exercise has had way more of an effect on my mind and spirit than being on antidepressants for the last 26 years. Yes, for 26 years I’ve needed some medical assistance and I have no shame about that. My meds have kept me alive, so I am forever grateful. I do, however, believe that my daily practices add so much more to my state of mind and life experience. My pill stabilizes my brain chemicals. After being on these meds for so many years, I don’t think my brain can do it on its own. Perhaps some day I will try to go off them again, but I have not had much success in the past. So if you are on meds for mood stabilization, stay on them and add some meditation. I believe there are endless paths to a more joyful, meaningful life, so pick the path that speaks to you. For some, it’s martial arts or tai chi. Others, it’s yoga (I started kundalini yoga last year and it’s been one hell of a game changer). Walking in nature every day can spark a lot of joy and interesting thoughts, at least it does for me. Being with animals is also healing. Writing in a journal can show us many truths that we didn’t even know we had hidden within. Reading spiritual literature daily can also perk up our minds and change our perceptions. Find a daily spiritual practice that works for you. Find a couple! Ten to twenty minutes can change your entire outlook and day. I have a friend with 4 children who gets up wayyy before dawn to get in her yoga and meditation, so if she can do it, we can all do it. 

Wow, I’ve talked about a lot here. Why did I write this? I wrote this because I have a very strong desire to see others live a more conscious, joyful, beautiful life. I feel like so many of us live life on autopilot, and by doing so, we miss out on so much magnificence. I’m a recovering alcoholic, so just being here, free from bondage and hopelessness, is a miracle I thank God for daily. Sometimes I feel rather lucky to have experienced such darkness. I think it makes me extra grateful for all that I have and experience in this precious lifetime. Our lives are precious gifts. We are meant to be present in them. Awake. Conscious. We are not robots and we are not meant to live our lives on autopilot. I think the parents who have lost children because of their stressed out, frantic, unconscious mode of living should receive nothing but love and support from those around them. My heart breaks for them and I pray that they can find a way out of their darkness. This post was not meant to judge, but to bring awareness. We humans have to start treating our hearts, minds and souls like the treasures they are. Only when we take care of them with earnest devotion, will we see and experience a life beyond our wildest dreams. And those we love and care for will also reap the benefits of our growth. Everyone wins when we go within, get quiet and become who we are meant to be.

Happy Friday, friends. Sorry if this post was upsetting to anyone. I just felt compelled to write it. Below are some examples of the articles I spoke of. I wonder if they shock the hell out of any of you reading as they did me. (You’ll have to look them up yourself for the complete list). Many prayers and endless compassion for all families suffering from loss of a beloved child.