As I’m driving around this new post and new town, I find myself getting lost and going the wrong way. A lot. Back in the day when I would get lost, I would freak out and end up screaming obscenities and be on the verge of a full blown panic attack. A common cry was, “Why God?! Why is this happening?! Help me. Help me. Fuck! Help me, PLEASE, I don’t know where I’m going!” (Lotta drama). Luckily, I have grown up a bit, chilled out a (tiny) bit, and also have a phone that can tell me where to go when I really have no clue. Which, when you move rather often, is the most helpful thing in the world. I remember so clearly the panic of looking at my printed out mapquest sheet of directions as I got on and off highways, always second guessing if I was really going the right way. One time, late at night, I wasn’t and I had to actually use my gut, which was wrong a few times, but eventually got me on the right road. That night, alone on a dark, empty street somewhere outside Baltimore, I realized that I can find my way. Even if I get lost, I will eventually find the right road. I still freaked out after that, but a little less.

Yesterday, and a few days before that, I went the wrong way to our house here on the Presidio of Monterey. Lucky for me, this post is small and I can’t really get too lost. (Thank you, God). Today, as I was driving home from taking the boys to school, I realized that I knew exactly how to get home BECAUSE I had gone the WRONG way yesterday! So simple, yet so revelatory at the same time: I now know the right way to go because going the wrong way taught me. I know it sounds silly, but I have always been a person who learns best from messing up; going the wrong way. The wrong way can be a mighty insightful way to go. You learn a lot. I had a great professor in college who taught my Logic and Critical Thinking class, and after showing him how I completed a lengthy proof, he looked at me and said, “You got it right, but you always go the longest, most complicated way to the answer.” (paraphrased). Dr. Silberstein, that one statement has stuck with me all of these years because it rang of so much truth. Yes, the long and winding way to so many things in my life is the way I have chosen to learn during this lifetime, and I am eternally grateful for every supposed misstep along the way. Maybe the wrong way isn’t really wrong after all. Just another way to learn, to grow, to master our minds and ourselves. Or just another way to get Home.

Perhaps right and wrong aren’t really opposites after all. Perhaps “wrong” is just an arrow pointing us in the “right” direction. Ok, now that I have some upbeat vibes going on, time to walk a dog and get lost here in Monterey. Have a great day and be kind to yourself. Life is hard, but there’s a point to all of it. I promise. 😉