I struggled with body image my entire life. I remember feeling less than as far back as first grade. Insane, right?! The importance of physical appearance in our society was deeply ingrained in me by the time I was 6 years old. That is utterly maddening and just plain awful. I know that I am not alone in this self image struggle. Money, and lots of it, is made off of our insecurities and poor self-esteem. The beauty and weightloss industries make fortunes off of us feeling like crap about ourselves. I’m all for self improvement and doing what it takes to feel good about yourself, but none of the stuff you buy to make yourself beautiful will actually make you FEEL beautiful unless you work on some deeper issues and give some healing attention to your sweet neglected soul. I spent so many years hating what I saw in the mirror, and when I look back now, I can’t believe how messed up that was! I looked absolutely fine, but what I saw in my reflection was dark, ugly and disgusting. I hated myself for a variety of reasons and I took it out on my physical body. Somewhere along the way, my spirit got lost among all the lipstick, clothes, magazines, gossip and plentiful teenage drama. Ugh.

Now that I’m over 40 and have gone through a ton of shit in my life and made it to the other side, I have completely changed the way I see myself and this lovely vehicle of life. This body is a beautiful miracle. This body experiences love and connection with others. Gave birth to two baby boys. Allows me to live a very full and active life. I have respect and mad love and appreciation for this body today. This imperfectly perfect biological machine that lets me experience life on this beautiful planet. That lets me connect and interact with other humans and the beauty of nature, animals, art, books and music. I do not love every single thing about my body, but overall, I’m satisfied with all it has done and continues to do for me every day that I am alive.

Today, as I was walking around a nature trail, I was focused on the beauty all around me. I just kept thinking to myself, “Nature is God,” and I’m walking around surrounded by these divine trees, birds, squirrels, snakes, butterflies, turtles and grasshoppers. (just some of the things I saw today!) I truly felt blessed. Joyful. Grateful. I took a lot of deep breaths and enjoyed the breeze on my face. I saw some things growing that I never saw on this particular trail before and I was glad I took notice. I’m happy that I’m focusing on the beauty all around me, instead of struggling to find some beauty within myself, which is exhausting, unnecessary and a huge waste of my precious energy. Today’s walk was 100% for my heart and soul. I didn’t think about my thighs rubbing together once. Did not give one fuck about that. That’s some freedom right there, my friends. And let me tell you, freedom feels fabulous.

Enjoy the weekend, ya’ll! Get outside and feel good!