Raising Hell: making trouble just for the fun of it.

Yup, I had to look that one up for a clear definition, and it sounds about right. We are raising two wild little boys and that’s pretty much all they do. But it’s the good kind of trouble. Mostly. I love watching them think of weird stuff to do. Like go out back in the woods behind our house and gather the cinder blocks they happened to find and bash them to a thousand pieces with a hammer. I don’t know why there are cinder blocks in the woods, or why they want to smash them to smithereens, but it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that they have this insane kind of energy and they are expending that energy OUTSIDE. Away from me. And the mess can always be cleaned up. Later. The mess is still there in the carport, and it doesn’t bother me too much. It reminds me that they played together and felt like they were working. They even made some sculptures out of some old pieces of wood and the broken blocks, which makes me stand in awe of their creativity. Their ability to see the possibility of art EVERYWHERE. Where we see junk and clutter, they see an art project waiting to happen. It’s magnificent. If you don’t let your OCD tendencies get the best of you, that is. And trust me, I like me some freaking order. Order brings this mama peace. Lots of it. But, you see, I have kids, so it is no longer all about what I need and what brings me peace. Although, I do have boundaries and draw the line when I have to. No, you can not take that steak knife outside, Samuel. How about using some scissors to cut the grass? See? I know what I’m doing here.

These boys can get their energies swirling into such a frenzy, that sometimes they must be ordered to ride their bike around the block 5 times, or walk around 3. Just to even them out a bit. My mother-in-law talks about how she used to make my husband do laps around the house when he got a bit too wild to take. This leads me to the conclusion that my boys’ energy has been passed on from their daddy’s side; since I was a calm, quiet child, who enjoyed coloring and reading. It’s the truth. Just ask my mom. Now, I am not a perfect mother, so my kids do play video games and watch other people play video games on youtube. I don’t get it, but it’s not my generation, so I guess that’s pretty normal. Although, if I’m gonna be honest, Dan TDM has stolen my heart because he is kind, doesn’t cuss (like me), and he’s funny, lighthearted and loves animals. Especially pugs! Basically, Dan is a winner. Even though all he does is sit in his house playing video games. He’s a good person from what I can see, and God bless his sweet wife who must really get sick of seeing his ass in front of that computer. I’m sure she’s crying all the way to the bank. My kids’ current life plan at the ages of 8 and 6 is to live together and be youtubers, like Dan. They are young, so this is cute and funny. This will cease to be cute and funny when they are 22 and 20, living in my basement eating Cheetos. Prayers for their future are greatly appreciated.

For a woman who yearns for peace, it’s pretty comical that I am a mother to 2 crazy boys. Their daytime energy rarely allows for cuddles and affection, although they do give their old mom a hug here and there, which is kind. It’s usually not until the day is done that they ask me to come upstairs with them, to read and snuggle. That is my favorite part of the day. They love on me. Give me hugs and kisses. Sam will often tell me that I am “a good mama.” Yup, melts my heart every time. All the chaos of the day softens into pure, sweet love. It’s the absolute best part of mommin’.

So, yes, while my boys certainly do raise a lot of hell, I know they are raising my vibration, too. Mothering them as best as I can is my goal every day. Sometimes I do this well, and sometimes I totally suck. I mostly just want them to feel loved unconditionally. If they feel that, I think all the other stuff I do wrong (like occasionally saying “shit”) won’t make much of a difference. I try to tell them often that I love them and give them lots of hugs. I read somewhere that 15 hugs a day helps the immune system. Well, they don’t get that many, but I try. I always try. I will continue to try as long as they are under my care and guidance. These boys will eventually become men, and like their father, I pray that they are kind, compassionate, fun, hard-working, lovable men. Their father has been such a profound source of love, strength and security, and we are so blessed to have him as our own. I think, together, my husband and I are doing a decent job. I think the teen years will be the true test of how well we have done. Eek. I can’t say I’m looking forward to those years, but I have been seeing some stellar young people these days, which gives me SO MUCH HOPE. Just because I was a troubled teen, it doesn’t mean that my children are destined to be troubled teens. I know there will be times that they will struggle, and while these struggles are important for growth, I hope they deal with them in appropriate ways and ask for help when they need it. I hope they know that their mom and dad are always there for them. No matter what.

Bottom line? Raising these boys is the best gig of my life. Grateful for the madness. All of it. 12 years till they are both in college. We still have a lot of time together. Yay. I’ll try not to blink.